Ambivalence
It washes over me
Violently
I read and watch
And gaze outside
Impaired
I break down
In little puzzle pieces
On the river
Im caught and cradled
Somewhere
I leave the outline of my body
In the bed I lay
The weight of your body
Is still imprinted in the bedsheets
I have dreams
When I wake up
Images flash by
I go to sleep to live again
Spaces
I inhabit overlap
People i kissed
Blurred into one
No gender
Or hair color, or smile, or smell
Can't distinguish
They're all one extending in me
I try to run and dance away
The fear of the unknown
Distorted
All around is playing tricks on me
Im a bundle of what is and what can not be
Sheltered by the promise of reality
Scared to wake up
Resurface and have to gasp for air.